I Rather Liked Wearing It
by Ulysses1
Summary: Ray and Neela my take on how Neela began wearing Ray's TShirt.  A short ball of fluff that I hope you enjoy.


Title: I Rather Liked Wearing It

Author: Jean (Ulysses1)

Fandom: ER  
Pairing: Neela/Ray  
Rating: FRT  
Disclaimer: The names of characters contained herein are the property of the copyright holder of "ER." No infringements of these copyrights are intended, and said characters are used here without permission.  
Spoilers: "The Honeymoon is Over"  
Beta: None, so a thousand pardons for any and all errors.  
Summary: My take on how Neela ended up wearing Ray's t-shirt. Pretty much a short ball of fluff, but hopefully you will enjoy it anyway. Some insinuation of sex.

Neela wearily leaned against the apartment door, struggling to insert the key in the lock as a gaping yawn overtook her. She had just completed a double shift and it had been hell on earth; undoubtedly her worst in a long time. Not a day of simple sutures and treating non life threatening gastronomical issues, but a day of full out tragedies, one after the next. The blue and lifeless baby, who had choked while eating his dinner, brought in by the distraught mother and her two other children, clinging to her legs in hysterics had been the final patient. The hoarse and devastated cries of the mother begging her to "DO SOMETHING", when nothing could be done had haunted her throughout the train ride home and probably would for life. She was physically and emotionally shot. Normally, after a day like this, she would seek out Ray for a much needed foray into the bottom of a beer bottle, but he had changed shifts this week to help out Morris so she was out of luck. He would have been able to cheer her up. Neela pushed the door open listlessly, her yawn turned into a full out groan and the tears that had been threatening all day pricked her eyes.

The bloody mess of the apartment sent her over the edge and the tears turned into full out sobs. There did not appear to be one inch of uncluttered space. She knew she could chicken out and blame Ray for all of it, but that would be unfair. She was no better these days at keeping the clutter from running amok. Her temples throbbed as the chaos of strewn clothing, dirty dishes, empty beer bottles and opened medical journals and magazines compounded with the jumble within her brain. This was it she thought. This was the day that she would run away again. Run from the turmoil of trying to be the perfect doctor, the dutiful wife squelching her anger at her husband's desertion, the woman with inappropriate thoughts about her… She stopped herself, midstream. "Don't go there you sniveling snod," she reprimanded. Neela brusquely wiped at the tears falling on her cheeks and kicked aside the stack of newspapers that had accumulated to the side of the apartment door. Ray insisted that they get the paper but they always laughed and grumbled at each other when they would throw the lot of them into the recycle bin a month later, rubber bands still intact.

She tossed her jacket and bag on the arm of the chair and flopped down on the couch, her legs sprawled in front of her, her arms out to the side, her aching back slumped against the cushions so that her chin almost rested on her chest. It was the posture of the down and out; the bored and lonely; the mentally drained and physically limp. She huffed out a sigh just as her stomach growled ferociously. Bloody Hell! One more thing to worry about and she knew perfectly well that there was no food about. Or did she? She could have sworn she detected a scent of garlic and onions in the air. Dare she hope? Her stomach grumbled again and Neela rose from the couch, tripping clumsily over Ray's sneakers on the way to the kitchen. She kicked them fiercely and one flew across the air and landed with a thud in beer box full of empties from the party held on Friday. The bottles rattled and the sneaker felt right at home.

Neela felt her way across the darkness of the hall to the kitchen and turned on the light in trepidation, fearing what ghastly mess would greet her there. Her dark eyes widened in shock. The kitchen could almost be called gleaming. She could see the counters, the appliances were wiped down and the pile of junk mail that was normally spread across the counter from one end to the other was put away neatly in a stack, strips of paper, with the her name and Ray's scrawled upon them, were taped to the top. In the middle of the kitchen table she found a note in Ray's distinctive scrawl.

_Hey Roomie (hold the eye rolling),_

_Sorry I didn't make much progress with the mess. Chili's in the fridge so hopefully that makes up for it somewhat. Extra hot sauce and jalapenos on the door._

_Lo__ Later, _

_Ray_

Neela did roll her eyes, but not in disgust. Ray Barnett... Every day, he demonstrated a thoughtfulness that she could not ignore. It was endearing, yet it unnerved her at the same time. She still remembered the day he had brought in donuts for the nurses and how she thought he was such a suck up or was trying to get into some newbie's knickers. But now, now that she knew him better, she realized it had probably had not been about that at all. Smarmy charmer stigma aside, Ray enjoyed making people feel good and had a knack for making them feel special. He connected. Even when she had been livid with him when he had left for his gig last year and left Arlo alone, it was another example of how he had connected to someone to make them need him. Miss him when he was gone. She smiled excitedly as she opened the lid of the Tupperware and the scent of his infamous chili wafted up to greet her. Yes, she would certainly miss Ray when she finally moved out.

Neela patted her full stomach and suppressed an unladylike belch. A giggle escaped her as a fleeting memory of a tequila laden burp contest with Ray flitted through her mind. They really got into the silliest of situations on occasion. She felt like she reverted to a ten year old when in his company at times. It was downright ridiculous. Giggling some more, she rinsed her plate and placed it in the rack to dry. What was with her tonight? Ray seemed to be creeping into her mind at every turn. She chalked it up to being loopy and completely knackered as she made her way to the bathroom, a cold beer in her hand. Another gaping yawn overtook her as she flicked on the light and approached the shower to turn it on. A note taped to the medicine cabinet mirror caught her eye. Once again, Ray's handwriting popped out at her.

_N, _

_Do I get any more points for cleaning the tub and shower so you can have a soak after your double? I kept seeing commercials for Calgon while I was watching the tube today so I picked you up some._

Neela snickered. Yeah right Ray, while you were watching General Hospital. He still thought she didn't know. She continued on and immediately frowned as her heart raced at his words.

_Might be going for overkill on the roomie suck up but … hey, we're good together Neela. As roommates, I mean…, so, you can't blame a guy for trying to keep you around. _

_Later,_

_R_

Neela cleared her throat as she turned the faucet and watched the steamy water begin to fill the tub. When had it come to this? When was it that Ray had become such an inexplicable part of her life? A person she looked forward to seeing, spending her free time with? A person who, bit by bit, day by day, chipped away at her, made her loosen up, made her see another perspective, made her feel… she paused. Made her feel what, she mused, wanting to stop where these thoughts were taking her but secretly enjoying the giddy palpitations she felt when she allowed her thoughts to stray this way. It almost had the power to overrule the guilt that went with it. She stepped into the tub and immediately felt the warm water begin to ease away the tension in her feet and the rest of her body as she slipped down in the silky water. Ray knew her. Really got her and more importantly, he made her feel special. Michael made her feel special too, but… but what? That is what it came down to. Ray gave her energy. Like she felt now. A disturbed energy that made her blood run faster. She raised a shaky hand to her hair and threaded her fingers through it, transferring the water to its thickness, slicking it back so it was away from her face. She chastised herself for wandering to this territory, for it was ridiculous and futile. She was a married woman. Closing her eyes, Neela willed herself to conjure an image of Michael. None came.

Sighing in frustration, her eyes roamed the bathroom and fell upon Ray's towel hanging on the hook on the back of the door. Immediately, the image of Ray emerging from the bathroom, clad in that towel, popped traitorously into her mind. His narrow, sinewy, yet nicely chiseled body, glistening. His normally gelled hair, tousled from a fierce towel dry. Her hands flew to her face, covering the heat that slowly arose there. She was a loon; a floozy for having these thoughts. For lying awake at night and wondering what it felt like to have him touch her like he did the stream of questionables that came through their door. She thought about how she hated herself the first time she wondered what it was like to be with Ray. The sounds of supreme pleasure that echoed through the walls left little to the imagination, except for how it actually felt. Her hands slipped down her torso, through the cloudy Calgon water, tickled across her hips and around the inner side of her thighs. Her eyes closed and her breath hitched as she moved her fingers to their destination. Neela's head tilted back upon contact, her teeth grasped her bottom lip.

A bell went off. She stopped abruptly and jumped up frantically, splashing water over the side of the tub. Flustered and angry with herself for feeling untrue to Michael, she grabbed her towel and wrapped it tightly around body, pulling it even harder still, almost in punishment. A flash of color caused her to look up at what should have been an empty towel hook, but instead, a gray T shirt dangled from it haphazardly, calling to her. Neela reached for it, knowing immediately it was not one of hers. She grasped both shoulders and turned it around. It was Ray's sleeveless T with the intricate design like a butterfly on the front. She had always loved this T-shirt. Visions of Ray's strong back beneath it as he walked away from her sprang to the forefront of her mind. She pursed her lips together as she slowly brought it to her nose and inhaled. Her features relaxed and a tender smile spread across her face at the instant pleasure the smell of it wrangled from her senses. It was pure Ray. The distinct smell of his soap and subtle cologne. A cologne that was fresh and clean and made her want to nuzzle close to his neck when he sat close to her on the couch, his leg intermittently jiggling against her own. She wondered if he did that on purpose. Always found a way to touch her in a somewhat impersonal, yet personal manner? She breathed of the shirt again and looked at her reflection in the hazy mirror. Her eyes glinted and she dropped the towel to the floor and proceeded to pull the shirt over her head. The fabric was soft, like the rest of his well worn t shirts and she tried not to think about what it felt like against her sensitive nipples. It rested just below her bum and she ignored the fact that she enjoyed the tickling sensation she felt as it whispered against her. She was startled by her reflection, at the sexiness she saw there. Even when Abby had taken those pictures of her in her skivvies for Michael, she didn't feel like she felt now. There was that energy again. It scared her and yet, she made no move to take off his shirt. It felt good. It felt right.

Neela returned her towel to the hook, retrieved her sweating beer from the sink and went to grab a blanket from her room. She needed a spot of telly to help get her mind off of what she wanted to do, clad only in Ray's t-shirt. Plopping down on the couch, she took a long swig and punched the remote somewhat aggressively, tired of fighting with her whirling emotions. Several episodes of World Poker greeted her on the Tivo list and she sat back, her eyelids already half closed.

Ray opened the door quietly, knowing Neela would give him hell if he woke her after a double. He had heard it was a tough one and congratulated himself for having the wherewithal to make some headway on the kitchen and the bathroom. He knew better than anyone that her bark was worse than her bite, but he was intent on making her happy. If she believed it was because he didn't want to lose her as a roommate, so be it. His brow knotted when he saw the flickering light of the TV, the sound barely audible. He expelled a long breath at the vision that greeted him and his heartbeat quickened as it always did when he first saw her after a few hours. Neela was peacefully sleeping on her side on the couch, her thick blanket from her bedroom wrapped around her upper body like a robe, her smooth brown legs curled slightly under her. She looked peaceful, serene, and as usual, absolutely beautiful. Gallant was a lucky, but stupid, bastard and he was a sorry son of a bitch, standing here salivating over his half clad MARRIED roommate. She would annihilate him. He stayed silent for several moments, gazing upon her, realizing he had never seen that much of her leg. He felt a strong urge to graze his hand up the contours of it as he had longed to do for so long but refrained. He did however, lean forward and gently wisp her hair that had fallen over her face back behind her ear, desperately trying to be gentle so as not to wake her. Not for the sake of the beating he would get but for the beauty of what he now had the opportunity to soak in, completely unnoticed. He knew it was a bit voyeuristic but, he couldn't help himself. His eyes once again went to her legs and he allowed the vision of them wrapped around his back to play vividly through his mind as he had imagined so many times in his fantasies. As he felt his body react, she stirred, her eyes slowly opening.

"CRAP!"

Ray panicked and grabbed a medical journal off the coffee table and held it casually in front of him. He watched as Neela's eyes opened wide and prepped himself for the onslaught. Instead he saw a hint of horror cross her face as she quickly looked down at her body and her hands grasped her blanket pulling it closer around the top of her body. For an instant he wondered if she had anything on at all but he saw the hint of a collar of a T-shirt and willed himself to relax.

"Ray, God, I must have…" She sat up disoriented. "How long have you been…? She did not finish her sentence. Instead she shook her head, as if to clear the cobwebs.

"I, uh…" Ray forced himself to avert his eyes as the blanket rose higher exposing more of Neela's legs while she continued to clutch at her blanket as if there was a blizzard outside. "I was just um, just um, getting this medical journal to do some studying." He watched as she processed his lame excuse and her eyebrow rose slowly. She did not comment. Instead she rose quickly and the blanket fell, draping her legs, ending his show.

"I think I will just uh…" Neela's felt her face flaming. Had he seen the T-shirt or the fact that she had absolutely no knickers on at all? She jerked her head over her shoulder, "I um, I am just going to go get more shut eye. I must have fallen asleep out here."

Ray shuffled his feet and lifted the book higher as he nodded towards her room, a grin alighting his face as he gazed upon her. "That's cool Neela. Good night."

She swept by him, smelling of lavender and something else he could not quite place, but was distinctly familiar. He grinned when he realized she must have used the Calgon he purchased her.

"Hey, Neela… he paused. "Sorry I woke you."

Neela turned towards him, her gaze somewhat softer than he had anticipated.

"It's ok Ray. I need to be in my bed anyway for a better sleep." She felt a churn in her stomach at how he looked at her. "And Ray, Thank you," she added softly.

Ray had sat down and was nonchalantly looking through the medical journal. "For what?" he asked perplexed. _For loving you so much it tears my guts out, he thought silently._

Neela stopped, she had thought he would know she was grateful for the tidying up, the chili, the Calgon. She hadn't expected that she would have to say for what. She felt her face flush again and she cursed her silly girlishness. "For um, for always thinking of me, I guess."

Ray smiled warmly and the energy once again flowed strong through her veins. "You're easy to thi…" He stopped. "We're roomies right? We look out for each other."

Neela's smile grew wide. She felt the warmth of being in a partnership. "Yes, yes, I guess we do. Good night Ray."

Ray nodded and flashed her a grin. He sighed when she closed the door, wishing he could be in there with her, oblivious to the fact that a piece of him was and at that moment Neela was hugging it to her, envisioning that he was that much closer. /lj-cut


End file.
